Tuesday, March 28, 2017

How Analyzing Poetry in English Class Makes Me Feel

No one knows why I chose those photos. Rose, knows, "bros."
Bros named Bo or Beau wear bows on a ship's bow.
The ship called Bose.
They bow. Applause.
Case closed.

Bo, how does Beau suppose Bose opposes bows?
When the wind blows, Beau knows
It's best to bestow Bess Tolkien's bursting, busting, baste upon the blest, but
Not the bows. Not the clothes.
Case closed.

Though Tolkiens grow thorougly, they throw through those dozen roses who doze in rows.
Beau supposes, he superimposes, he slows token Tolkiens.
The hose explodes and exposes Horatio's noses. The dove dove.
Case closed.

So, bros named Bo or Beau in bows on Bose's bow all bow. Bose hates clothes.
Case closed.

Kubo and Coraline are the same (spoilers)

Plot synopsis for Kubo and the Two Strings and Coraline:

These movies are shot in exquisite stop motion and feature a human child, our main character. The child has a wiser animal counterpart, which is named after its species and understands magic better than the human child. There is also a completely unnecessary character who is inserted into the movie for the benefit of one scene and to the detriment of the rest. The child must combat a magic overlord who wants to take the child's eyes so the child can stay with the overlord forever. The overlord just wants a family. The child character cannot rely on parents, who are lost. In the end, the protagonist finds that things are not as they appear. Most of all, the parents are not truly dead.

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Little Bo Peep's Sheep are Asleep

The INSPECTOR, a sheep and detective, is on the case about a number of reported comatose sheep belonging the Queen of Sheep, LITTLE BO PEEP. Unfortunately, BO caught wind of the investigation. Now trapped at BO’s isolated farm, INSPECTOR was forced to lie, telling BO that the police had already deemed her innocent. This could prove a dangerous situation if BO finds out her case is still open. As it is, INSPECTOR is stuck with BO until help arrives.

[BO and INSPECTOR enter]

BO:
I am glad you have stayed here so long
You knew of my innocence all along
But, sir, you haven't slept for a week!

INSPECTOR:
No, I slept an hour today
So far, that's my longest streak
Even that is too long, I say!

BO:
Not quite.

INSPECTOR:
You said, “Not quite.”
Did I hear right?
For my report, I quietly quote, “Not quite!”

BO:
You heard me right!
You need sleep! You need a vacation!
Your mind is addled by sleep deprivation
You declared me free, after a bit.
I thought that was the end of it
Now you are as imperious as you are delirious!
You heard me right!
Now sleep! Good night!

[Exit BO]

[INSPECTOR examines a large group of sheep beneath white bedsheets]

INSPECTOR:
Sleep is for the weak.
You see, sleep
Is for the meek sheep
With steep leaps
And creaking knees.
And creaking feet.
They keep creepy sheets
Where they sleep,
These weak sheep.
These sheets reek!
We don't need sleep.
I am neat,
I am petite,
I am chic,
And I've been seen
By the sheep queen,
So I need no sleep!

I don't need a beep
A beep beep beep
To rouse me from sleep.

Sheep think me a freak?
Well, they can keep
Their sweet sheep dream
When they sleep!
I am real; I need no dreams.
Ask Little Bo Peep
About her sweet sleeping sheep.
Ask how she sneaks
Among her own sheep.
Bo is greedy and needy...
So the sheep keep sleeping
Yo Peep! Keep peeping.
Now who’s the creepy freak?
She keeps the sheep asleep
So she can eat
Some sweet sheep...meat.

These sheep...are not asleep.
“Not quite.”