Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Brady McHaranface Launch Confirmed for July

HAWTHORNESpaceX and NASA's latest research vessel will launch in two months, the agencies announced this Monday. Called the Brady McHaranfacethis research vessel will endure a twelve-year journey to to gather data from the Kuiper Belt. Astronomers are most interested in a volcanic body called B-612, which some scientists hypothesize has the potential to house organic life.

A NASA representative says, "We are extremely excited for our research spacecraft. The journey will be long and difficult, but we are confident that the McHaranface is as hard as nails."

Made in MS Paint

Friday, May 20, 2016

Saturday, May 7, 2016

Fibonacci Sequence: High Precision

Today I wrote a computer program. It calculates Fibonacci numbers to high(ish) precision (and then breaks). Here is a subset of the outputs, given that the first two are both 1:

100. 354224848179261915075
101. 573147844013817084101
102. 927372692193078999176
103. 1281597540372340914251
104. 2208970232565419913427
105. 3490567772937760827678

Hooray! Exciting, huh?
No? Sextillions are boring?

Here is a picture of a hiding cat to placate you:

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Letter to Textbook Authors

To the distinguished members of the Royal Society of Historical Writers:

The use of obscure idiomsespecially when the rest of one's writing is already cumbersomereveals historical pomposity. 

Examples of pompous and cumbersome writing quoted below:
"Although free labor prevailed in the Western European homeland, unfree labor systems took root all around Europe's periphery, both overseas and in Eastern Europe, and the two systems were structurally linked" (34). 
"The slavery issue hung like the sword of Damocles over Polk's efforts to negotiate peace with Mexico" (361). 
"After a violent confrontation between miners and the National Guard at Coeur d'Arlene, Idaho, in 1892, mining unions met at Butte, Montana, in 1893, to form the Western Federation of Miners (WFM), whose radical politics included a call radically to transform the American economic system" (492). 
"Labor increasingly became a commodity bartered for wages rather than a craft whereby the worker sold the product of his labor rather than the labor itself" (525). 
"Use of various Internet-based sites to create communities of people with similar interests, while transcending boundaries of time and space, quickly became perhaps the most important new cultural-social force of the early 21st century [...] Time magazine, perhaps seeing the handwriting (or imagery) on the wall, selected 'You,' all of the millions of people using networking sites, as its 'Person of the Year' for 2008" (906). 
We know a committee of snobbish, egotistical, sword-of-Damocles-wielding bastards penned this book. We are confident they can hire an editor to simplify these passages, since four was clearly an insufficient number.

Also, remove all references to "the sword of Damocles" that are not actually about Damocles's sword.

Every history student ever

P.S. On page 907, the book reads, "liberty, power, and equality." You misquote the title of your own book. If you have the gall to put the title of your book in the book, at least get it right. 

Murrin, John M., Paul E. Johnson, James M. McPherson, Alice Fahs, Gary Gerstle, Emily S. Rosenberg, and Norman L. Rosenberg. Liberty, Equality, Power: A History of the American People. Ed. Ann West, Margaret M. Beasley, Megan Chrisman, and Robert S. Laurent. 6th ed. Belmont, CA: Thomson/Wadsworth, 2005. Print.