Monday, December 12, 2016

Semantics

Don't say "I am a violin" if you are not a violin.
Say "I play violin" or "I am a violinist."

Advice applies to all instrumentalists.

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Opera Composers Introduce Themselves (Lyrics)

Written by Babocha
Performed by: Puccini, Rossini, Bellini, Spontini, Cherubini

PUCCINI:
Ciao! My name is Giacomo.
I am Puccini, a musical genie...a genius? I confess,
I do have a keenness for turning sleeplessness
into seamless libretto from the ghetto to the meadows

Ahimè!
I talk too much about me
It's time for others too, you see?
Meet my O.G. homie, G. Rossini

ROSSINI:
Thank you Giacomo Puccini
I am Gioachino Rossini
We are quite different, him and me

I am G. Rossini
Please meet V. Bellini

BELLNI:
Grazi, G. Puccini and G. Rossini
I am Vincenzo Salvatore Carmelo Francesco Bellini,
But we are friends; call me V. Bellini

SPONTINI:
Ciao, G. Puccini, G. Rossini, V. Bellini,
I am G. Spontini.

Please meet Cherubini.

CHERUBINI:
Greetings, G. Puccini and G. Rossini and V. Bellini
I am Luigi Cherubini and my friend is Spontini.

PUCCINI:
It was a pleasure to meet you, Spontini and Cherubini

SPONTINI:
As it was to meet you, Puccini, Rossini, and Bellini.

ALL:
Ciao!

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Star Wars Character Names

Need name inspiration for your Star Wars novel, comic, cartoon, spin-off, or fanfiction? Are you director Rian Johnson and don't have a clue what to name a throwaway character who you secretly hope will become the new Boba Fett?

Look no further, my brave Padawan. Here are some excellent Star Wars names that you have my permission to use.
  • Jian Kang - rebel who wears gray clothing with a dark hood. Enjoys long walks.
  • Bao Xian - Jian Kang's health insurance provider; policies constantly change.
  • Sage Curl Ego - because all Star Wars names sound like anagrams (George Lucas).
  • Jail Whomnils - because all Star Wars names sound like anagrams (John Williams).
  • Oaken-Nib Ibow - because all Star Wars names sound like anagrams (Obi-Wan Kenobi). 
  • Riven Reshrink - because some Star Wars names are actual anagrams (Irvin Kershner). 
  • Darth Clusion - practices the Dark Side of inclusion.
  • Darth Cumbent - an evil incumbent that won't ever be elected out of office.
  • Darth Signia - has a unique insignia with unknown powers.
  • Darth Ception - uses his powers of inception.
  • Harolt Ren - looked up the conventional name "Harold" and changed the last letter.
  • Carg Ren - was given the conventional name "Carl," but legally changed the last letter during a debate in the galactic high court.
  • Nathaq Ren - abducted as a young child; changed name from "Nathaniel." 
  • Arthup Ren - occasionally uses the Dark Side to cheat on exams; changed name from "Matt."
  • Robero Ren - was bummed that "Kylo" was already taken; changed name from "Kyle."
  • Geralz Ren - changed name from "Shirley;" as the only female in KOR, immediately dies.
Shrank Prettily, Sharply Knitter, Start Hyperlink, and Try Pink Slather are anagrams for Harry S. Plinkett. 

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Wise Quotes from the AP Econ Textbook

"There is a lively market in second-hand college textbooks" (93).   
"None of us are Robinson Crusoe" (5). 
"[T]he price of a lube job would have increased to the point that it was no longer an attractive option (unless you really needed a lube job)" (13).  
"You won't be arrested if you walk on the right, but you will be worse off" (13).
"[A]ll the freeways were back to normal, ready for the next [earthquake]" (16).  
 "[I]n most cases the invisible hand does the job" (15).
 "Canada, eh?" (33). 
 "[A] sensible person knows when one more clam would be one clam too many" (249). 
"What changed the status of chicken was the emergence of new, technologically advanced methods for raising and processing the birds. (You don't want to know.)" (253)
"Chinese food isn't the same thing as burgers or pizza" (416).
This is just some of the wisdom that the Economics textbook has bestowed upon me, as well as hundreds of other high school students.

Krugman, Paul R., & Robin Wells. Microeconomics. 2nd ed. New York: Worth, 2005. Print.

Monday, November 14, 2016

Mode Two Autocrat

Sari.
Task automatic vehicle.
HAG!
I ate autopsy.
I mean autocrat.
Hanging Nice Ned on table.
I mean banging my heed on tablet.
Little Beaver.
I mean deer jelly.
I mean Never Land
Gandhi